If you go down to Hunter Square
You'll find a bar called The Tron down there
The music's great and the clientele
But the drinks in the joint are all to hell
They've got Jack Daniels and alcopops
Kiddie drinks and lager tops
All the chemicals you need
If you like it fizzy, fizzy's guaranteed
But you won't find a drop of the stuff
That's made this nation strong
No uisge beatha - it's wrong
There's no whisky in the bar
It should be illegal - yay
To not serve scotch in Scotland - hey
Someone call the authorities
I need Highland Park, Glenmorangie
Glenlivet, Ardbeg, Bladnoch
The Macallan, Talisker
Glenfiddich, I could go on for years
I've said your names, sponsor me - cheers!