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NEWS published 12.02am

PIGEONS ON DOPE
Squiffy birds higher than you think

Pigeons dropping from the sky have been found to contain large amounts of cannabis resin in their systems.

New evidence has come to light which suggests that tourists at Trafalgar Square are giving the birds a spliff in order to observe their comical antics thereafter.

The Animal Liberation Front announced it was setting up rehab clinics for pigeons who might develop a serious habit. It outlined the nightmare scenario of flocks of junkie birds demanding narcotics with menaces from innocent passers-by and that.

Meanwhile public awareness campaigns are being hastily constructed in order to wean the flappers from the weed with the message, Just Say Noah Sent You.

Vets are treating the case as Mauritius.

 

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