TROON IN VAIN
You stand by the Firth of Clyde
Which is 26 miles wide
You've got a golf course and that's a fact
And souvenir shops selling tat
Troon harbour has had its day
Home of the Ailsa Shipbuilding Company
CHORUS
Now you can go
Over to Larne
By P&O
Oh yay
All the tides
Along the coast
Wash up copies of The Sunday Post
I see Oor Wullie, I see The Broons
Fish supper wrapping in Royal Troon
They've got their But n Ben for holiday
What that's got to do with Troon I can't say
CHORUS
Now you can go
Over to Larne
By P&O
Oh yay
You must explain why I should care
Did you lie when you went to Ayr
Do you like Burns?
No, not at all
Now I got a job
As a caddy
I got plus fours
I look quite free
But without all of these things I can do
But without the golf I won't make it through
But you don't understand my point of view
There's nothing else to do in Troon
CHORUS
Now you can go
Over to Larne
By P&O
Oh yay
CHORUS
Now you can go
Over to Larne
By P&O
Oh yay
You must explain why I should care
Mid July is the peak of the tourist industry
Did you see the sea
Did you see the sea
No, not at all
It's colder than
Norway
Did you see the sea
No, not at all
It's colder than
Norway