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NEWS published 12.02am

MURDER INCIDENTS INCREASING
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Police yesterday released figures showing an increase in violent crime just to scare the living bejeezus out of us.

A superintendent with just a hint of smug bravado about him, announced that more people had died horribly and more gruesomely than ever before.

He went on, 'The police are doing everything in their pyjamas to ensure that these incidents of bloody gore and yuckiness go down a bit by the way.'

When asked why the police are doing everything in their pyjamas, the big wig flatly denied ever having made the comment.

One reporter was insistent: 'Yes you did. Just then.'

'No I didn't.'

'Yes you did.'

'No I didn't'

The argument ended up outside in the car park where the reporter fell down some stairs.

The Police are treating the case as delicious.

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