Back Home
 
 
NEWS published 12.02am

MUMBELESE DECLARED OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF TEENAGERS
Adolescent mutterings encouraged


In a radical piece of legislation passed through Parliament today, teenagers are being handed the right to mumble as they please.

Lobbyists for this downtrodden section of society have long campaigned for the language of Mumbelese to be officially recognised.

The campaign has consistently argued that youngsters' natural aversion to consonants and complex sentences uttered in a clear concise manner should not be punished.

A spokesman for the campaign stated, 'This is a victory for the inalienable right of every articulately challenged young adult in the land.'

A teenager said: 'Duh!'

 

back to top

 
 
 
 
 
GO BACK TO HOMEPAGE
 
 
ALSO IN THIS SECTION
 

ATTEMPT TO BAN MISERABLE PEOPLE

2004 PUT ON HOLD

BAD MAN HITS LOLLIPOP LADY

THE END IS NIGH

BIG SCARY CRIME FIGURES

WORKERS REVOLUTION IN THE OFFING

EAT FOOD

CUTE ANIMAL STORY

PEOPLE POOR SHOCK

FOOTBALLER SPITS

THE NIGHTS ARE FAIR DRAWIN' IN

DRUGS BARONS' NOBILITY QUESTIONED

MISSING LINK FOUND

IT'S ALL GOD'S FAULT

PIGEONS ON DOPE

TOLERANCE ABOLISHED

MURDER INCIDENTS INCREASING

TABLOID HEADLINES PREY ON GULLIBLE

NOW THAT WE'VE FOUND LOVE

PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES

POKEMON DRIVE BY SHOOTING

SEX

DRUGS

VIOLENCE

HEADLINES WANTED

SATIRICAL NEWS STORIES BEGIN TO LOSE BITE

AW, WHO BLOODY CARES

NOBODY'S READING THIS STUFF ANYWAY

I HATE YOU ALL

IT'S ALL SO BLEEDIN' POINTLESS

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND

DON'T CRY FOR ME AL PACINO

GIRAFFES KICK ASS

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ