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READERS LETTERS
Have
your say -write to the editor and let rip!
The
editor welcomes your comments on the burning issues of the day. If you
have something you want to get off your chest or any other part of your
anatomy, you can contact him below.
Dear
Sir
I feel I must object to your insensitive handling of the Section 28
debate. Some of us poofs have feelings too you know.
Maurice Mince-Lightly
Sir
As a lifetime subscriber to the Daily Reckless, I feel compelled to
express my disappointment that you have chosen to print a complaint
from one of those nancy boys intent on corrupting every bone and rippling
sinew of our youngsters' bodies. It fills me with disgust to imagine
the sweating craved cavortings of such lust filled throbbing sex monsters.
I stand firm and proud against such licentious behaviour and only hope
that in future you shall endeavour to banish any further communication
from people whose only joy in life is to obtrusively and perniciously
inveigle their despicable vices into the hearts and minds of lithe,
pert, voluptuous and writhing orgasmic bodies melting uncontrollably
in the uninhibited thrashings of steaming pulsating sex.
Excuse me while I mop this up.
Colonel Jock Stiffly
Sir
When is the Daily Reckless going to expose the scandal of schemies sucking
their fags and wingeing about poverty. It is patently obvious such state
spongers must be rolling in it if they can afford to smoke.
Anun
Sir
Have any of your readers noticed the remarkable resemblance between
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Donald Dewar?
Mr
Magoo
Sir
I wholeheartedly concur with every opinion and prejudice espoused by
this mighty organ.
A Sychophant
Sir
When will I, will I be famous?
Smarmy Throwback
Sir
Has anyone noticed the striking resemblance between SNP MSP Kay Ullrich
and STV political reporter Fiona Ross? Do I win £5?
Cheers,
Gareth Mackie (the world's second greatest living journalist)
We
don't watch STV around here, Sir, and indeed are shocked, nay, astonished
that they even have such a thing as a political reporter.- Ed.
Sir
I am writing to congratulate you on a fantastic piece of majestic journalism
that is without a shadow of a doubt, of the highest order.
One question
though; Do I know you from days gone by? Are you a middle-aged, white
haired, bespectacled gentleman with two unruly children? It seems an
amazing coincidence, but if it is you and you get famous and all that
try and remember yer pals from way back, eh neebur? Ah mean, times are
hard, and if you could see your way to lending me a couple of quid,
for old times sake, you know, when we used tae be buddies.
Yours
expectantly
Andrew S. Beveridge esq.
PS
When I say a couple of quid, I mean more like 20 or 30. But you're an
intelligent man and I'm sure I'm just insulting your intelligence by
saying that. Sorry.
I'm
afraid you're sadly mistaken. I am in fact a bespectacled unruly gentleman
with two middle-haired children.
And yes you are insulting my intelligence. Now bugger off you scrounger.
- Ed
Sir
Watching
"Georgeous" Lord George Robertson, Grande Fropmage of NUTO on Scutvision
on Sunday, (yeah, folks! a serious programme on ITV) I found myself
musing - Does he wear a wig or is it all down to lashings of Grecian
2000? Enlighten me please.
Neil
D Paterson
Well,
the man has to do something to detract from his stunning good looks.
- Ed
Even
if you do not accept this one, it is now over two months since a contribution
by a reader was accepted onto the letters page of your trite, funless,
repetitive and, now, ultimately BO -RING, ego-s(h)ite. The original
concept, a parody of a newspaper we love to hate, was excellent; however
it has not developed beyond a schoolboyish attempt at milking a 'coo'
to utter exhaustion - and reader fatigue.
ALM
Ooooh. Get her! Methinks someone has been partaking of the pompous
ass pills. What do you think readers? Trite? Funless? Schoolboyish?
Cripes. Us? Bum snotters jobbies to you, A.
Hey
Capt Boab,
How's it gaun? The site's a hoot (and that's not easy to say with this
much drink under your belt). I particularly like R2, for its incisive
fluff and pithy fashion news, though it does not carry as many pictures
of birds in their pants as do some other publications. You should bring
out a hard-copy edition, by the way. I was going to say it would sell
like hot cakes, but since no one sells hot cakes any more, I do not
think that a clever analogy. Better perhaps to say it would sell like
condoms at the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland.
Honk-honk,
Rab
Cheers.
Incidentally, Rab, we used to have a whole calendar featuring our feathered
friends in various styles of undergarments but decided to delete it
on the grounds of taste. We had a lot of complaints from twitchers.
Twas ever thus.
Dear
Boab
Who is ALM? A Labour Minister/Moron perchance? As far as I can tell
the original concept hasn't changed and has indeed developed to include
the excellent R2. I utterly resent LM's feeble attempt to undermine
such a great wee read. Could ALMs utter exhaustion have more to do with
sticking closely to Teflon men ?
Yours
Outraged of Partick
Sir
Has anyone noticed the remarkable resemblance between the erstwhile
ejukashun minister, Ah'm Yer Man and a medical dummy head representing
facial muscle and tissues?
A
surgeon
Sir
I am delighted to see that you have not lowered your impeccable standards
by reporting any morsel of information from the football on Sunday.
As is now commonplace in the rest of "gutter press", no respect for
the feelings of Rangers fans is shown in what is a very difficult time
for us..........eh, them. These so called "newspapers" are only interested
in cashing in on the misery of others by reporting stories that no-one
is really interested in. Thank GOD that your paper has displayed its
sensitivity to this matter.
Yours
Faithfully
Columbus Knight
Sir
I am struck by the remarkable resemblance between eminent historian,
Dr David Starkey and local shop owner from the League of Gentlemen,
Edward Reece. Are they related?
Curious
from Tillicoultry (and who wouldn't be)
Remarkable,
indeed, Curious. They would appear to both be related to pigs.
Regarding
the culling of Tory politicians for being ugly - Labour had better pray
they're not next - 'cos the party with the smallest gene pool on this
or any other planet has clearly suffered from all those years of inbreeding
between all the Labourite families to ensure their safe council seats
from parent to offspring go to those of the "right background".
Just look (if you dare) at Wendy Alexander, who fell out of the ugly
tree & hit every branch on the way down. Everyone has a right to be
hideous, but as in all matters she badly abuses the privilege. Where's
the nearest bolt gun & quicklime mass burial pit?
Yours
for every politician up against the nearest wall & shot
Mark Boyle.
Aw - we think Wendy's cute in an intriguing Ripley's
Believe it or Not way
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