Back Home
 
 
NEWS published 12.02am

IT'S ALL GOD'S FAULT
We might have known

Conclusive proof that God is to blame for all the ills of this world has emerged.

In a dramatic statement yesterday, Cardinal Losing of the Church of the Poisoned Mind declared:

'Yes, yes, yes. What's the big deal? God created this world and he must carry the can for the awful way things have panned out and that by the way. Have you got a problem with that?'

When asked if he expected to gain admittance to Heaven after such an outburst, Cardinal Losing burst into a fit of giggles and had to be physically escorted from the building.

Psychiatrists are treating the case as propitious.

 

back to top

 
 
 
 
 
GO BACK TO HOMEPAGE
 
 
ALSO IN THIS SECTION
 

ATTEMPT TO BAN MISERABLE PEOPLE

2004 PUT ON HOLD

BAD MAN HITS LOLLIPOP LADY

THE END IS NIGH

BIG SCARY CRIME FIGURES

WORKERS REVOLUTION IN THE OFFING

MUMBELESE DECLARED OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF TEENAGERS

CUTE ANIMAL STORY

EAT FOOD

PEOPLE POOR SHOCK

FOOTBALLER SPITS

THE NIGHTS ARE FAIR DRAWIN' IN

DRUG BARONS' NOBILITY QUESTIONED

MISSING LINK FOUND

PIGEONS ON DOPE

TOLERANCE ABOLISHED

MURDER INCIDENTS INCREASING

TABLOID HEADLINES PREY ON GULLIBLE

NOW THAT WE'VE FOUND LOVE

PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES

POKEMON DRIVE BY SHOOTING

SEX

DRUGS

VIOLENCE

HEADLINES WANTED

SATIRICAL NEWS STORIES BEGIN TO LOSE BITE

AW, WHO BLOODY CARES

NOBODY'S READING THIS STUFF ANYWAY

I HATE YOU ALL

IT'S ALL SO BLEEDIN' POINTLESS

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND

DON'T CRY FOR ME AL PACINO

GIRAFFES KICK ASS

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ