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The agony uncle who travels incognito to avoid
affidavits
by
Perry Estelle

Edgy Britwit logic chopping on the loose

This week - Success

Does discrimination against women in terms of pay propel them into entrepreneurship? (Contributed by Success Mag)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
Woman can do many projects at once thats why there are four rings on a stove.

Why is it that if you ask any failure they will tell you that success is just a matter of luck? (Contributed by J.J.)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
How true. The world is full of losers who think like that… taking up too much room. That’s why the National Lottery was invented. You make your own luck in this world by taking risks. Over cautious people will never get anywhere in life because they will insist on wearing a condom to mainline heroin and moan when they still get Aids from a dirty needle.. Proof positive!

Why is it that any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong? (Contributed by Al B.)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
Do you know what? I hate fickle cynics like you who are always talking percentages. Well, 70% of you 30% of the time.

It is good to have an end to journey towards but isn't it always the journey that counts in the end? (Contributed by Don F.)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
The Chinese adage goes. “Every journey starts with the first step.” Which is fine, as long as you don’t step in dog shit.

Have you noticed that Triumph is just ‘umph’ added to ‘try’? (Contributed by George Hoffman)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
Correction: It’s an unreliable, leaky motorbike that is ridden by smelly people whose hair keeps moving even when they get off.

Motivational experts urge employees to 'work smarter' and to 'put everything they have' into their work but when cooks do that the result is a ‘hash’ isn't it? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
Porn stars who ‘put everything into their job’ may find that there is no room for their knob.

Why do we always assume the best things are still to come? (Contributed by Jeremy Barrow)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
How can you ‘come’ with all that clutter in the way? (see above)

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you see if the loser gets anything? (Contributed by Rodney & Cathy's Joke List)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
Try this experiment. If you pass wind while passing urine, who comes third?

How can you be over the hill if you never got to the top? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
What if it’s a hill of beans?

Isn't the greatest success to be successful at self-acceptance? (Contributed by Ben Sweet)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
Look in the mirror first then let others make up your mind.

Did you know that a word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success? (Contributed by Gary Barnes)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
Would this be appropriate when the person you are encouraging is trying to commit suicide?

Isn't it true that the difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra? (Contributed by TJ)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
As in the Tesco motto..”Every little helps”…For who, exactly?

Do you think that whoever said 'It’s not whether you win or lose that counts' probably lost a lot? (Contributed by Martina N.)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:

Anybody that created a proverb failed at everything else they ever did. Look at the book of proverbs in the Bible written by King Solomon. Never got to shag that sherperdess girl did he?

Doesn't the world of tomorrow belong to the people who have the visions today? (Contributed by Robert Schuller)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:

Never trust a visionary that needs to go to Specsavers.

Isn't failure only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success? (Contributed by Denis Waitley)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
I wish Robert Maxwell was here to hear this.

Did you know that nobody ever fails? They just find many more ways that don't work, right? (Contributed by Thomas)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
Thomas Edison tried over 1000 filaments before he lit a lightbulb. It was the highlight of his day. To think Blackpool could have been so much more depressing than it is today is in itself a miracle.

Defeat is only a temporary condition, right? It’s giving up that makes it permanent, isn’t it? (Contributed by Marilyn)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
Only marathon runners with ill-fitting track shoes know the agony of defeat.

Won't those who get too big for their breeches be exposed in the end? (Contributed by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)

Dr Farquar Smith comments:
This is ‘pants’.

 

see also Dr Farquar - Smith on:
Transport
Christmas
New Year