week: Secret Societies
I think globalism is inevitable...after all, where else can it happen? Dee Sturbing
Dr F: I was drunk. I thought you said syphilis not ‘citrus’. If you had bought your own bag of lemons you would have probably outlived me.
Dr F: We are in the grip of a recession. If we all tighten our belts we won’t notice it so much when losing weight through starvation.
I have been caught up by the Illuminati. Is it catchin? Alf Abetti
Dr F: Personally I hate spaghetti. I hope it's not that. I hate Italian hybrid cars who have names like a skin disorder. If it doesn’t go away in a week I’ll rub cream on it. If it is still there in a month I will let you have some too.
I think you are a mason. Gran Master
Dr F: You’re not so bad yourself.
What about the ‘all seeing eye’? Should it go to Specsavers? Cy Clopps
Dr F: I saw it wink once and I knew it wanted me. But it's at the top of a pyramid and I can’t be bothered to shag retinas after a 45 degree ascent.
Infidel! You must die! You violate my Gizeh? Omar Gawd
Dr F: What’s wrong with a quickie up against the Kasbah with Kevin the Camel? Yes, I’m bisexual. I buy sex most Wednesdays. In fact, it doubles my chances of a date. Literally anything with a pulse. I am qualified to take your pulse you know. As already discussed I prefer pulses to spaghetti.
What about the Bilderbergers? They are planning World war 3 and invented the European Union, you know. Ann Xiety
Dr F: Sorry to hear that. My money's on WW3. Less victims. Less carnage. More hope.
I heard there are fema camps being built all over the world where the elite wish to exterminate 90% of the population as carved on the Georgian Stonehenge? Good job I booked my annual leave already. Dee Nial
Dr F: Have no fear. You should be fine. Butlins at Bognor already resembles Belsun from the air and you can rub shoulders with the rest of the diluted gene pool. Watch out for machine gun fire! They serve breakfast with a tennis racket.
What about the ‘Skull & Bones’ Club started at Yale that spawned our present leaders where ritual human sacrifice and orgies take place? Jolie Roger
Dr F: You must come to our team meeting. Saves you a trip to America and you get to drink blood samples because it saves on postage to the lab.
The ‘Hellfire Club’ is the British equivalent to a secret society where college students meet covertly to take hallucinogenic substances, indulge debauchery and dress up in gothic shrouds, deflowering virgins, talking gibberish, chanting obscenities and act out satanic ritual. Dee Munn
Dr F: No feckin’ change there then?
World leaders are promising a New World Order. Can I have that with onions? Dick Edd
Dr F: So are the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I hope that includes getting a lobotomy, a personality transplant and their own mind instead of that of an ASDA shopping trolley.
I have just watched the Da Vinci Code proving I’m a joyless twat. Do you agree? O. Cult
Dr F: Is the pope catholic?
If the world is manipulated by a small group of powerful people, will they ever catch me wanking? Aunty Christ
Dr F: Self abuse just saves the world elite a job. You are 93. If you get caught now what will your granddaughter think who is pregnant with our seventh child? Anyway, they will never discover you at your allotment between the hours of 11pm and opening time on a Sunday when you should be making cream horns for the “The Holy Mary Mother of God and Jesus Crispy Undercrackers” whist drive for elderly strummers.
The Luciferian Club? Who the devil are these people? Bell Zebub
Dr F: They are ancient trans-humans that walk amongst us. They wreak havoc by spreading negativity and mind control. You can get the form from Social Services if you want to join.
The Queen had a lovely jubilee. All that pomp! How many hospitals would that build? Des Gruntled
Dr F: After she has finished, there will not be enough money to pay Gary Barlow for the taxi home who has already been spotted creeping around her and trying to feel her highness up. She slapped him once and said ‘Take That.’
These conspiracy theorists. They must spend all their day trying not to shit themselves. I bet if the toast pops up they blame a Zionist or The House of Rothschild. Live and let live I say. Thanks for explaining why you gave me syphilis. Gavin Nottashite