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The agony uncle who travels incognito to avoid
affidavits
by
Perry Estelle

Edgy Britwit logic chopping on the loose

This week - New Year

They say that if you don't do it, you'll never know what would have happened if you had done it, but if you actually do it, would you know what would have happened, if you didn't do it? (Contributed by Ashleigh Brilliant)

Dr Farquar-Smith’s comments:
This is a worthy conundrum. Have you ever thought by doing nothing, that technically, you have actually done something, by doing that? The real problem occurs, if you happen to be doing nothing at the time, when this happens.

If something was worth doing wouldn't it have been done already? (Contributed by Thomas Rowe)

Dr Farquar-Smith’s comments: Ostensibly, this could be true. Not all things are worth doing. Neither, is what is already done always worth it, and sometimes, only for what its worth.

Is a New Years Resolution better, when it has lots of pixels?

Dr Farquar-Smith’s comments: Higher resolutions mean that you are made in God’s image and that usually starts with a decent font.

If something is worth doing, how come we still lose money doing it? (Contributed by Keith Sullivan)

Dr Farquar-Smiths comments: That is the true value of bankruptcy.

If it's the thought that counts, why bother with the presents?
(Contributed by Zac)

Dr Farquar-Smith’s comments: If it was only the thought that counts maybe we ought to consider getting an accountant who will make his own presents known, and that he, may actually count for something.

If you were born on News Years day at midnight could you count both days as your birthday?

Dr Farquar-Smith’s comments: Wait a second. Ask me tomorrow.

Why do the folk who make the most New Years resolutions never keep them?

Dr Farquar-Smith’s comments: That’s politicians for you. What lies ahead?

Did Adam ever have a New Year’s Eve?

Dr Farquar-Smith’s comments: Look, he was a bit drunk, ok? If Catherine Zeta Jones walked into your office party wearing just a fig leave and munching on an exotic fruit, what would you do?

Do they have a Happy New Years Party at clinics for manic depressives?

Dr Farquar-Smith’s comments:
Suicides and bereavement occur more often at this time of year, particularly, with self-mutilators, so I don’t think it wouldn’t do any harm. Especially, if the buffet is served with plastic cutlery, and there was plenty of Lithium in the Tiramisu.

Do bailiffs wish everybody a Happy New Year?

Dr Farquar-Smith’s comments: Oh yes. You can’t take that away from them.

 

see also Dr Farquar - Smith on:
Transport
Christmas