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The agony uncle who travels incognito to avoid
Perry Estelle

Edgy Britwit logic chopping on the loose

This week - Yet More Life

What good is a ticket to the good life if you can't find the entrance? (Contributed by Keith Sullivan)

Dr F. Come to my surgery and get your ticket punched.

Did you ever wonder that if everybody became somebody there wouldn't be anybody left to be nobody? (Contributed by Sinnful)

Dr F. Try to wish that you were what you were when you wanted to be what you are now.

What would life be like without rhetorical questions? (Contributed by Dark Shadow)

Dr F. Very droll. Conversation would become very one-sided. Social interaction stilted as if talking in ‘headlines’ and just a collection of unrelated observational and dysfunctional statements more akin to a continuous and badly rehearsed comedic sketch from a Monty Python Show. Except for any other reason than to amuse initially, its nonsensical lack of value, would render everyday dialogue unrewarding and laboriously counterproductive. It would be like talking to a multi option phone response. Or, spending all our lives reading a shopping list to each other. Humans need to respond with comment and debate in their ultimate search for knowledge and insight….. and a shag. Is that good enough for you smartarse? (You don’t have to answer that question.)

Why is the world colourful when life is monochrome? (Contributed by Daniel Cyre)

Dr F. I over prescribed your methadone.

Isn't life just one of those things? (Contributed by SuperCOW)

Dr F. If you are a river bird you could be just swan of those things.

There are lots of things in life more important than money. But why do they all end up costing you money too? (Contributed by Jim Moore Jr.)

Dr F. Money doesn’t exist. Credit or interest is non-existent too. How can you owe interest when it’s not real money and just an electronic exercise? Gold is the only legal tender. Centuries ago, as more people wanted more shopping, gold was not enough to go around, and the bastard clergy wanted to keep it all, anyway. Paper money replaced gold, and the Papacy kept the gold in the Vaticans basement, hoping no fucker would notice the swap. Money became an ‘iou’ or a ‘promise to pay’ piece of paper. Cheques are ‘pretend’ money. That’s why travellers always pay for their ‘morning after’ pills in jewellery. I’m not stupid. They trust me.

When you can't see the bright side of life is it possible to polish the dull side? (Contributed by WrqnHrd)

Dr F. It depends if your reputation is already tarnished.

Is the biggest ever decision in life to look or to look away? And if you choose to look away are you not still looking? (Contributed by Alex Petty)

Dr F. You have a cast in your eye the size of Eastenders. Please stop saying , “what do you two buggers want” to me? I diagnosed double vision, so that’s twice my fee, thanks. If, you can see your way clear.

Sometimes don't you just feel like you're diagonally parked in a parallel universe? (Contributed by Krista)

Dr F. Some people are just never happy with their ‘lot’.

If you want to have your outlook in life enlarged why would you go to a shrink? (Contributed by The Vent on

Dr F. Looking at the size of your penis a shrink is the last thing you need.

see also Dr Farquar - Smith on:
New Year
The Ward
More death
The Generation Gap
Body Neurosis
Anti-Social Behaviour
Health and Safety
More Life