week - Intelligence
How come the sum of the intelligence on the planet remains a constant
yet the population continues to grow? (Contributed
by Don F.)
Dr F. Because everyone knows someone who is completely
stupid but puts them out of their minds.
Is it obvious to you as well that too many people are educated
far beyond their intelligence? (Contributed by
Dr F. Intelligence and common sense don’t mix.
Look at Charles Kennedy.
If people on Earth are so smart why don't they stop looking for
intelligent life elsewhere and educate the unintelligent life here
instead? (Contributed by Debbie Davis)
Dr F. Not everybody has the Internet. If they did
they would probably still be too thick to log on.
What if the purpose of intelligent life is to get all that carbon
back into the ecosystem?(Contributed by Heather
Dr F. Don't you remember we tried that once during
the miner's strike but Sir Arthur Scargill buggered it up.
Why is it that Artificial Intelligence is always the other guy's
(Contributed by Vanboove)
Dr F. So Professor Stephen Hawkins can blame Freudian
'slips' on his voice synthesiser?
Why do humans think they are smarter than elephants or marine
all, when you think about it, the elephants and mammals have larger
brains, they don't have to work, and they have no reason to worry.
Who do you think is the smarter? (Contributed
by Becky Solly)
Dr F. Elephants smart? How come they can smell each
other at 50 kilometres away but not poachers at fifty paces?
If Einstein was so smart, why didn't he ever use a comb and some
hair gel before having his picture taken? (Contributed
by Cindy Moulin)
Dr F. Einstein discovered atomic research. This explains
Isn't the wealth of mankind, the wisdom that they leave?
(Contributed by John O'Reily)
Dr F. Yes, Ann Robinson just says, "You are
the weakest link, Goodbye" and only then they leave their cleverness
behind on the set, and have to fuck off.
Sure you can tell whether a man is clever by his answers, but
isn't it also true that you can tell whether a man is wise by his
questions? (Contributed by Mahfouz Naguib)
Dr F. Why is Chris Tarrant about as sharp as a marble,
and such an arsehole then?
How come it takes a lot of things to prove you are smart but only
one thing to prove you are ignorant? (Contributed
by Don Herold)
Dr F. Blair and 'weapons of mass destruction' spring
to mind. If brains were taxable he'd get a rebate.
is it that in the first half of your life, you know it all, and in
the second half of your life, you forget it all? (Contributed
Dr F. Only at the point your parents stopped doing
everything for you.
Without education, wouldn't we be in a horrible danger of taking
educated people seriously? (Contributed by Gilbert
Dr F. It doesn’t matter. Most geniuses forget
the punchline anyway.The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.
If temporary insanity were real, wouldn't there also be temporary
intelligence? (Contributed by anonymous teacher)
Dr F. This occurs when the computer salesman explains
sixteen bit digital processing to you and expects you to understand
what the fiddly fuck he is on about, but you still nod, as if you
knew exactly what the fiddly fuck he was on about anyway.
How can we understand when our own comfort is all we think about?
(Contributed by Pat F.)
Dr F. Because most people have very strong principles
they are simply not prepared to stand up for.
Doesn't 'counter' mean 'opposite'? If so, then wouldn't 'counter-intelligence'
'stupidity'? (Contributed by Richard)
Dr F. Only if you are served by gormless cretins
who give you the wrong change, and then leave it on the bar, in a
puddle of beer.
also Dr Farquar - Smith on:
The Generation Gap