This
week - Health
Why
is it whether you sit up or sit down the result is the same?
(Contributed by Don F.)
Dr F. That will depend on if you miss the chair on
both occasions.
When you stand on your head your face gets red so how come your
feet aren't red when you're right side up? (Contributed
by Don F.)
Dr F. Your feet are not as embarrassed as your face
for doing silly experiments like this.
When exactly should we exercise? If you're healthy you don't need
to and if you're sick you shouldn't - right? (Contributed
by Henry F.)
Dr F. Precisely. How many heart attacks are waiting
to happen to ‘keep fit freaks’?. If God had meant us to
exercise he would have put chocolate on the floor and invented wanking
when you can't be bothered.
Did you know the word AEROBICS comes from two Greek words: AERO
meaning 'ability to' and BICS meaning 'withstand tremendous boredom'?
(Contributed by Dave Barry)
Dr F. If you should die during ‘step-up’
exercises further steps may have to be taken.
Do insecure people wear life jackets while on their rowing machine?
(Contributed by Jim Adams)
Dr F. Only if they use it to get to work and capsize
it in the stationery cupboard.
Isn't the best way to get a man to do sit-ups be to put the remote
control between his toes? (Contributed by Albert
Steinhart)
Dr F. Some men may prefer to put slices of pizza
between their toes. It will still mean the agony of defeat.
When someone else loses weight how come I'm the one who always
finds it?
(Contributed by John Lucas)
Dr F. Their gain is your loss.
If you laughed for 24 hours straight, would you begin to see signs
of weight loss? (Contributed by Kate and Coral)
Dr F. No you would begin to see a psychiatrist.
Is it true that if your dog is fat, YOU aren't getting enough
exercise? (Contributed by Pablo)
Dr F. No it means your dog is eating all your food.
Taking the dog for a walk, is only beneficial to humans, if there
is somewhere to tie it up outside the pub.
How come the only exercise some people get is pushing their luck,
running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and jumping
to conclusions? (Contributed by FunTrivia)
Dr F. What about people who try to jog your memory?
How come health clubs advertising on TV never show people who
look like they need to be there? (Contributed
by Terry Galan)
Dr F. Can you imagine Pavarotti on a bench press?
Don't we all have perfect washboard abs? It's just that some of
us have a thicker fat protection layer, right? (Contributed
by The Vent on AccessAtlanta.com)
Dr F. Having a washboard stomach could mean complete
strangers rubbing you up the wrong way by airing your dirty laundry
and saying things 'off the cuff.'
They say that we can burn about 90 calories just by watching TV,
so if you watch three TVs at the same time, wouldn't that be like
jogging around the block? (Contributed by Keith
James)
Dr F. Playing a VCR tape on ‘fast forward’
of "The Fat Club" for the evening, will transform you into
Victoria Beckham.
Does a group that sweats together, stick together? (Contributed
by The Duke of Endor)
Dr F. That was very dry.
When people say that they have 'ABS of Steel', do they just mean
that they have an automobile with ABS brakes? (Contributed
by Don F.)
Dr F. I hope so. Screaming brakes are not the same
as the screaming ab-dabs.
Aren't long walks refreshing? Especially when they are taken by
people who annoy you? (Contributed by Bruce)
Dr F. Do you mean those who tend to ramble?
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