This week - Actual Facts 2
Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system. Fraser Shirtcuff
Dr Farquar says: Chocolate is a vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans
The downside? If you get it on your fingers while in a hot car you are eating it too slowly.
As for the dog dilemma? It costs only one bar of chocolate to kill your dog. Think of how much more it would cost to have it ‘put down’ leaving you to spend what you would have saved on more chocolate.
Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured , they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape. Ginger Yersell
Dr F: Dead handy when your Spitfire dumps in the drink then?
Just imagine. Even if you manage to drag your half severed limbs from the cockpit alight with gallons of aviation fuel, you at least have a chance to read your ingenious waterlogged map amidst 30ft waves before Jerry picks you up!
Did you also know that the day Sir Winston Churchill became Prime Minister and led us to war, he fell out of a cab pissed and broke his hip, hence the walking aid he was so often seen with. No wonder he always gave two fingers to the camera.
Of all US prisoners 55% are in prison for drug offences. Clem Atus
Dr Farquar says: Now there’s a surprise. On the bright side.. this proves that the whole US gene pool doesn’t have a ‘deep end’.
To all our Colonial cousins across the pond. We gave you Hamlet. You gave us Macdonalds! I expect you still think the former is a Happy Meal too!
This brings us to more admin issues. If you come from Arkansas and want to register with my surgery please fill in the following form below with the help of your elbows, some stolen diesel, a greasy air hat and torn ill-fitting plaid shirt: (Large spaces are left in between the words on this form for easy reading and leaving you time at intervals to change a tyre, shoot a possum or take a dump over yonder in Bubba’s barn.)
Last Name: ________________ (last)
First Name: (Check appropriate box)
Spouse's Name: __________________________
Number of children living in household: ___
Mother's Name: _______
Father's Name: _______(If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 Other N/A Circle highest grade or state.
Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home or did you steal it from Jed’s farm? ( )
___ Total number of vehicles you own
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
Model and year of your pickup: ______ 194_
Do you have a gun rack?
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
How often do you bathe:
( ) After Harvest
( ) When I get to date my teenage daughter ‘Lulabelle’.
(_) Not Applicable
Colour of teeth:
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
How far is your home from a paved road?
How computer literate are you?
Do you open your email:
Howdy Yall ( )
With a belch or fart ( )
Is your screen saver a picture of :
Your naked sister ( )
Your favourite truck/ rifle/ haystack/beltbuckle ( )
A member of your family shovelling roadkill for Sunday roast ( )
Yo Mama ironing clothes in the driveway ( )
A Billy goats ‘boobies’ ( )
see also Dr Farquar-Smith on: