I’m your tailor and owed for the last dinner jacket and tuxedo I made you. I suppose its futile to ask you for money as you instructed me to sew all your pockets up. Harris Tweed
Dr F: I was the one that was stitched up. You sewed into the crotch a fillet of fish offending those eyes that gazed upon it and making my poorly arranged fruit bowl very smelly. Next time I ask you to attach a cod piece, think it through.
Its a bit crowded in here, isn’t it. Vi Talstats
Dr F: Yes, but the bra suits you. Thanks for wearing beads too. I knew I could count on you.
I’m Roger, the manager of “Relax .. When You Want To Come” gents outfitters. ‘Shortened fingernails and pre-warmed metal caps on the measure for accurate inside leg measurements a speciality. I noticed you rented an Italian dress shirt from us. Just because it's Italian doesn’t mean you have to bring it back in such a state. Why has it got spaghetti bolognese all down the front? Roger Merigid
Dr F: Because I threw up down the back. I put it on back to front because I prefer to suck my food and I didn’t want to get any of it stuck to my bowtie. Wearing a dress shirt with frills means you can do stegosaurus impressions at Masonic functions. The vomit just adds more texture and colour to the special effect holding all un-chewed food perfectly in place until dry.
I keep thinking I’m a lift and don’t want to stop at this floor. What’s wrong with haberdashery? Raven Loon
Dr F: Sir. You are twat on all levels.
I like girls in the nip. I went to a nudist beach and saw sand everywhere it shouldn’t be. I showed them my nob and even had a flash on my camera. Beat that! Shawn Pubes
Dr F: Clothes do tend to get in the way and buttons fiddly especially if you insist on wearing only gloves.
My 7 yr old Welsh cob at 16 hands likes to dress up in human underwear, ostrich boa and luminous donkey jacket. What sort of horse wears clothes more appropriate for donkeys? Justin Majodphurs
Dr F: It's a clothes horse. More and more equine species are becoming fussy about what to wear while standing in the paddock to have a shit. It's just a matter of time before horse shoes will be fitted with rhinestones instead of gravel.
I have been wanking in my best suit and got some merry monk on my fly. I fell asleep and now I can’t open my zipper to get me strides off. What to do? Ivor Stiffy
Dr F: Try some rubbing alcohol.
Why is this wardrobe so heavy? Irma Bithick
Dr F: Because your husband is inside carrying the clothes.
I can hear you talking about me inside here. What so strange about me being inside this wardrobe carrying my clothes? Eze Bithick
Dr F: Well...It’s usually me.