JOY (published 1 March 2003)
Since the sad demise of Dolly, sheep mosh pits up and down the land have been getting ever more agitated over who will become the new superclone.
CAPER (published 1 March 2003)
Church leaders flung up their robes in horror this week at the depiction of their superhero Jesus H Christmas turning his water into wine.
The picture (above) was deemed sacrilegious, blasphemous and bloody rude by god botherers across the land and humourless bigots in general.
When asked to comment on the publication of the heinous item in question, Daily Reckless proprietor, Meg Lomania, commented, "I'm thirsty. Out my way, the bar shuts in half an hour."
OH WHAT A LOVELY
WAR MODEL (published 8 March 2003)
The Prim Minister, Tony Blur, decided to up his defence of the forthcoming war by attempting to capture the fashion vote.
Here we see him strutting the catwalk in a beautiful Katherine "'Ave it!" creation.
DOG WALKS MAN
(published 8 March 2003)
Police this week were called out to the scene of some horrendous crime or other when a body was found by, unusually, a dog out walking his man.
WHO (published 15 March 2003)
In an effort to up the ante in the cause of war, the government has decided to update its army recruitment poster using a more friendly, albeit slightly camp sounding slogan.
BOTOX BLUES (published
15 March 2003)
Further revelations concerning the safety of Botox injections have led to several specialist shops shutting shop causing consternation among potential customers.
MARCH ON (published 22 March 2003)
Following the recent spate of anti-war marches up and down the land, the police have declared themselves utterly peeved at the amount of policing of marches they have to do.
(published 22 March 2003)
Archive records have revealed Benny Hill's murky involvement in the early days of genetic modification and human cloning.
Our picture shows that the Isle of Man was the initial experimental ground used by scientists and duff old comics alike.
KNOT IN MY MANE
(published 29 March 2003)
The animal kingdom has joined the anti-bad hair movement sweeping the nation. A spokesperson for the king of the jungle, Leo Layeeoh, yodelled yesterday:
"Matted manes are a constant irritant in the savannah and shampoo and hair products are thin on the ground. We are demanding more action from Schwarzkopff and L'Oreal because we're worth it too, you know."
GET YER SOCKS
ON (published 29 March 2003)
David Beckham this week wowwed the fashionable fashion scene in that London with his sartorial statement on how best to wear frilly socks.