SHEAR JOY (published 1 March 2003)
Them sheep are bonkers

Since the sad demise of Dolly, sheep mosh pits up and down the land have been getting ever more agitated over who will become the new superclone.

CHURCH CARTOON CAPER (published 1 March 2003)
Jesus Christ!

Church leaders flung up their robes in horror this week at the depiction of their superhero Jesus H Christmas turning his water into wine.

The picture (above) was deemed sacrilegious, blasphemous and bloody rude by god botherers across the land and humourless bigots in general.

When asked to comment on the publication of the heinous item in question, Daily Reckless proprietor, Meg Lomania, commented, "I'm thirsty. Out my way, the bar shuts in half an hour."

OH WHAT A LOVELY WAR MODEL (published 8 March 2003)
Tony Tones Up

The Prim Minister, Tony Blur, decided to up his defence of the forthcoming war by attempting to capture the fashion vote.

Here we see him strutting the catwalk in a beautiful Katherine "'Ave it!" creation.

DOG WALKS MAN (published 8 March 2003)
No biting involved

Police this week were called out to the scene of some horrendous crime or other when a body was found by, unusually, a dog out walking his man.

YOU WHO (published 15 March 2003)
Doctoring the War Effort

In an effort to up the ante in the cause of war, the government has decided to update its army recruitment poster using a more friendly, albeit slightly camp sounding slogan.

BOTOX BLUES (published 15 March 2003)
Wrinklies not happy

Further revelations concerning the safety of Botox injections have led to several specialist shops shutting shop causing consternation among potential customers.

MARCH MARCHES MARCH ON (published 22 March 2003)
Polis Protest

Following the recent spate of anti-war marches up and down the land, the police have declared themselves utterly peeved at the amount of policing of marches they have to do.

BENNY LEGGYCY (published 22 March 2003)
Mutation madness

Archive records have revealed Benny Hill's murky involvement in the early days of genetic modification and human cloning.

Our picture shows that the Isle of Man was the initial experimental ground used by scientists and duff old comics alike.

KNOT IN MY MANE (published 29 March 2003)
Lions revolting

The animal kingdom has joined the anti-bad hair movement sweeping the nation. A spokesperson for the king of the jungle, Leo Layeeoh, yodelled yesterday:

"Matted manes are a constant irritant in the savannah and shampoo and hair products are thin on the ground. We are demanding more action from Schwarzkopff and L'Oreal because we're worth it too, you know."

GET YER SOCKS ON (published 29 March 2003)
That's the way to do it

David Beckham this week wowwed the fashionable fashion scene in that London with his sartorial statement on how best to wear frilly socks.

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