After quaffing a fair quantity of Talisker and finally
succumbing to the confectionery enchantment they call
Tunnock's tea cakes, Seraphama felt intoxicated enough
to take up Sylvester Rambling's kind offer of a tour
they wobbled down the stairs of 666 Great Junction
Street, Seraphema signalled to Sylvester to be quiet
as she lurched towards flat GF2 and pressed her ear
up against the door.
she whispered. 'There's definitely something scurrying
around in there.'
leaned over to listen. 'Hmm,' he said. 'Scuttling,
I would say. Or possibly scampering.'
'How rare,' said Seraphema.
the noises stopped. Seraphema froze, thinking their
whispering had alerted the mysterious resident to
their presence. She felt a strange tickling inside
her ear which she only just realised was pressed directly
over the flat's peephole. Quickly, she jerked her
head away from the door, noticing there was no glass
in the peephole and something spindly poking through
it which quickly retracted as she jumped back, clutching
her ear and scratching vigorously.
'Eww, eww. What was that?' she squeaked.
looked intrigued. 'It appeared to be a tendril of
some kind. Let me see your ear.'
peered into Seraphema's lughole which appeared unharmed.
'It's a little red, but other than that I …oh…' Sylvester
jumped as the tendril-like object shot out the peephole
again to tickle his own ear. He instinctively made
a grab for the thing but it immediately shot back
his ear, he asked Seraphema to have a look inside
a little, er, brown,' she said.
blushed. He was a stranger to cotton buds and hadn't
had his ears syringed for at least a year.
quite,' he stammered. 'But is there anything unusual
I couldn't really say,' said Seraphema. 'Not having
looked in your ears before. Should I be looking for
anything in particular?'
never mind,' huffed Sylvester. 'This is ridiculous.'
He banged on the door. 'Come on. We know you're in
there,' he yelled.
was quiet in GF2.
the letterbox,' said Seraphema. 'Do you think that
wise?' said Sylvester. 'Who knows what organism may
pop out from there.'
we should call the police,' suggested Seraphema, gently
massaging her earlobe.
say what? There are tendrils on the loose? Our ears
have been tickled? God knows the Leith police are
dismissive enough without us giving them extra cause
to ridicule us.'
pondered a moment. 'Wait a minute. Stand over there.'
backed away while Sylvester stood with his back to
the wall next to the door. He reached out slowly towards
the letterbox, taking care to stretch his right arm
as far as it could extend in order to create as much
space as possible between his body and the door.
with one eye keeping watch on the peephole, he attempted
to slowly raise the flap of the letterbox with the
very tip of his little finger.
Week: The Wildest Critters Live in the City